How to tell which therapist is right for you

I don’t know about you, but I am ALL IN on podcasts. I find it to be a great medium for learning new information and hearing first hand from individuals you respect and admire from scientists to celebrities. As a mental health provider, I spend a good amount of time listening to interviews with industry thought leaders. Something I hear them asked over and over again is how to find a good therapist. 

When I hear this question asked, I always wish I could edit it to instead be: how do you find the right therapist for you. Because their answer to that question would be far more informative and far more helpful.

Let’s dive in on how to find the right therapist for you and why that is the question you need to be asking. 

At this point, I am going to assume that you have already made the decision to commit to therapy. (If you haven’t, read my article about how to know when therapy could be right for you and then return to this article.) Now it is time to consider what you are hoping to accomplish in therapy. Are you looking to get help managing anxiety that is popping up? Process trauma that you’ve experienced? Manage your relationships better? 

Regardless of what your goal is, you should have one in mind before you begin searching for a provider to meet it. If you don’t know what you need, it will be difficult for someone to help you.

Starting with your general area of focus allows you to prioritize your search. Many therapists specialize in issues or populations, meaning they have sought out additional training or education. For example, some therapists work with couples or the military population. Others focus on college students or individuals over 65. Knowing where you fall allows you to find a provider that can be the resource you are looking for. 

Using tools like Psychology Today, Good Therapy, Therapy Den, and Inclusive Therapists can be helpful in the discovery process. This tool also allows you to narrow your search by type of insurance accepted, whether they offer virtual or in-person appointments, and what treatment modalities they use. 

Scheduling the first appointment is the beginning of the process. Next, you need to spend a few sessions getting to know each other. Therapeutic relationships are inherently one-sided. Most therapists won’t disclose too much personal information to ensure you can be the focal point. However, it is important to feel comfortable and understood by your provider. Part of feeling comfortable is the ability to offer feedback. Being able to recognize and share that something made you feel judged, unsafe, or misunderstood is a key component of any relationship and practicing in the therapy room can facilitate this behavior in other parts of your life. 

The top indicator of success in therapy isn’t the therapist’s years of experience or education. The most important factor is connection. In order to explore vulnerable, hidden parts of ourselves, we need to feel safe. 

Ask yourself: Do they get me? Did they say something that made me think about something in a new way? Do I feel capable of sharing with them?

The first session can be taken up by paperwork and explanation of procedures so allow for 2-3 sessions if you are able to. I encourage you to keep checking in periodically. One therapist might meet your needs now, but as you grow and evolve your needs may change and that is okay. 

I turned to my colleagues for some more input on what they think makes a good therapist. Read what they have to say for additional ways of identifying the best provider for you and your needs.

I hope this article provides you strategies for finding the best therapist for you. Even more, I hope you take some time to be introspective and to identify your needs. Happy reflecting!