The Changes of New Motherhood

Having a child is an incredibly special development. The birth of a new baby is a moment for celebration in cultures across the globe. Sometimes the idea that all life stems from the woman who nurtured the child inside of themselves is forgotten.

From those who find themselves newly pregnant to those who are ready to pop, there's the feeling that their life is going to change in many ways. Having a child is a huge responsibility, and as new mothers step into the role there will inevitably be a few things that will catch them by surprise. If you are considering whether or not to start a family, you may be wondering how you’ll feel when pregnant or postpartum; everyone is different but there are a few studies on how your mind will change in motherhood.

For women, our hormonal health plays a critical role in our emotional state. Once you become pregnant estrogen and progesterone spike which can be responsible for the majority of pregnancy symptoms from mood swings to bloating. With the bodily and lifestyle changes you have during this stage, it’s not surprising that many women struggle with their mental health while pregnant. Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia (PANDA) found that about one in ten women experience depression during their pregnancy. Pregnancy is a vulnerable time. It’s more important than ever to seek support from friends family, and your mental health provider, if you have one.

Being mindful of the changes in your body and your mental health during pregnancy is not only important for your well-being but that of your unborn child. Excess stress is the biggest factor that can affect the health of your child. Stress can put a strain on your endocrine and autonomic nervous systems. According to studies by doctors at Cambridge University, excess stress has been linked to a higher rate of birth defects, developmental restrictions, miscarriages, and premature births.

Once the baby arrives. The progesterone and estrogen drop off and are replaced with oxytocin and prolactin to support milk production. This shift in hormones can be a problem for new moms. Approximately 50%-75% of mothers will experience “baby blues'' during the first few weeks after giving birth leaving them overly emotional, weepy, and unmotivated. However, if those feelings persist longer than two weeks it may be postpartum depression.

The first thing to know is this is completely normal; as of 2021, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) predicts one-fifth of new mothers will experience some form of postpartum depression. Some mothers feel guilt for not being able to embrace motherhood fully which results in this condition being stigmatized. Postpartum depression it is often underreported and treated. Mom guilt is real and can start before your baby is even born.

Postpartum depression functions similarly to normal depression, with the main difference being the neurological reason for the development of the condition. New moms may experience low moods, suicidal ideation, and feelings of overwhelming grief, loss, and hopelessness. Moms may also struggle with caring for themselves, bonding with their new baby, and keeping up with household or career responsibilities. Let’s keep in mind how much change occurs when you welcome a baby into your life. The additional stressors on top of the responsibility of caring for new life can be overwhelming.

Many women also experience a large shift in identity during this time. You become the head of the household and are now responsible for another life. The person you were before the baby may not feel like such a good fit anymore. The life you had pre-baby is changing, and with that can come feelings of grief and loss. Your baby is on a different schedule than you're used to. Moms may find themselves squeezing in dishes during nap time, forgetting meals, and not feeling like they have the time to care for themselves. Body dysmorphia or general dissatisfaction about your post-baby body, coupled with an expectation to not gain during pregnancy or rapidly lose baby weight is another source of anxiety. You may not recognize yourself as you look in the mirror, or worse you may feel disdain for the way you “let yourself go”.  In essence, your life will revolve around your child, and that can be a hard pill to swallow. The need to do these things is unavoidable; researchers have found that new mother’s inclinations to care for and watch over their child are intense, they have been compared to the compulsions associated with OCD.

It’s a messy and taxing process, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. The good news is even through the adversity most women still view their pregnancy and the birth of their new children as a positive and exciting time of their life. Nesting and preparing for the arrival can be highly social and fulfilling to women, their partners, families, and their friends. Additionally, pregnancy hormones can be responsible for stimulation in the part of the brain that controls empathy, and social interaction with the release of bonding hormones that help new moms feel even closer to their children. Even through sleepless nights, stress, and temper tantrums most mothers feel inexplicably bound to their newborn and feel a fierce and powerful loving sensation that makes it all worth it.

 
Overall motherhood is vulnerable, which is why it’s important to seek intervention if you find yourself struggling. Society expects women to be able to take this huge change in stride, and that’s not always realistic. It can be a time that is exceptionally positive, but it’s perfectly normal to feel a little disillusioned confused, or even sad. As a mom who may be struggling it’s important to remember that you are doing a VERY hard job, and even if it doesn't look as pretty as on social media, you still deserve a pat on the back. You deserve the highs, the cute baby giggles, the love, and respect from those close to you, but most importantly you still deserve to care for yourself. Practicing self grace, and managing time to still give yourself what you need, coupled with support from family or a professional can make motherhood a bit easier.

To all the moms reading, we see you. We love you. We appreciate everything you do for your children.

From all of us here at BareWell, we wish you a Happy Mothers' Day.