How to Recognize and Support Someone Contemplating Suicide

Suicide is an issue that often comes with stigma, misconceptions, or lack of understanding for how to engage someone who might be struggling with it. By taking the time to identify possible risk factors and approaches to assist someone who might be suicidal, you could make a difference in promoting the safety and affirmation of others.

Suicide Warning Signs and Risk Factors

There are several key warning signs and risk factors that increase someone’s chances of considering suicide. Warning signs are typically related to one’s thoughts, feelings, and actions that relate to suicide, whereas risk factors are often conditions or situations in a person’s life that can lead someone to engage in self-directed violence. Some warning signs to pay attention to are significant changes to behavior, such as sudden increase in alcohol/substance use, social withdrawal or isolation, engaging in risky or impulsive behaviors, extreme mood swings (i.e. rage, anxiety), current or past self-injurious behaviors (i.e. cutting), and dramatic shifts in sleep (i.e. too much or too little).

Other warning signs that relate to thoughts or feelings might be:

• Feeling trapped or invisible

• Feeling unbearable pain

• Stating the wish to remain asleep and not wake up

• Feeling like a burden or being without purpose

An example of a risk factor to consider might be a lack of options in one or multiple ongoing stressful situations, such as significant financial debt or having low income, abuse/domestic violence, chronic health conditions, discrimination related to race/ethnicity, gender identity, or sexual orientation, being arrested or incarcerated, being in the military, or being in care (I.e. in the foster system or assisted living for aging adults).

Other risk/precipitating factors include:

• Personally knowing someone who has either attempted or committed suicide

• Access to lethal means

• Previous suicide attempts

• Current or historical trauma exposure

• Triggering events such as a death of a loved one or end of a relationship

Protective Factors

Protective factors are positive aspects and conditions to focus on that can help encourage an individual considering suicide. The two main types of protective factors are internal and external. Internal protective factors are usually linked to one’s own belief system (i.e. cultural, spiritual), personal resilience (adjusting to change), strengths and positive attributes, or life goals and aspirations. External protective factors often relate to relationships with people and things, such as family, significant others, friendships, ties to one’s community, or even a pet. Protective factors can be referenced to assist someone who might have difficulty remembering or recognizing areas of their life that are meaningful or satisfying.

Common Misconceptions about Suicide

There are some commonly shared misconceptions perpetuated about suicide you might have heard. One is that by asking someone if they are suicidal, it instills the idea of suicide in one’s thoughts or can promote the act of suicide. Typically, if someone is considering suicide, it is out of desperation or possible reluctance to seek much-needed support or resources. By asking about it, you might be able to open the conversation and possibly reduce the stigma or shame one might be experiencing. Another common misconception is that someone who repeatedly threatens to kill themselves “doesn’t mean it” or “is being dramatic." While there might be an underlying element to one wanting or seeking attention, talking about wanting to die consistently could be caused by an inability to appropriately communicate their thoughts and feelings. The idea of suicide can sometimes be a fantasy related to death as an alternative or an alleviation to their current suffering. It is important not to assume one’s intent and to ask questions to better understand some of their underlying needs. Self-harming behaviors can be an additional misconception related to suicide. While intentional violence toward oneself can be related to suicide, is often a physical way to temporarily relieve intense emotion. It is also possible for non-suicidal self-harm to unintentionally lead to suicidal behaviors, but is more often used as an unhealthy coping strategy.

Ways to Support Someone Who Might be Suicidal

If you know someone who is struggling with suicidal thoughts or intent, there are some approaches that might be helpful to utilize. It is important to identify your own thoughts, feelings, and comfort level about suicide before helping someone else with it. This prevents some discomfort, unconscious bias, or triggers that might come up for you. Your own personal, cultural, or spiritual beliefs might differ, so it can be helpful to use language and beliefs specific to the person you are trying to support. Another approach is to reflect on the internal and external protective factors mentioned above, such as one’s strengths, supportive relationships, and goals. Delaying one’s plan can also be crucial in supporting someone feeling suicidal. Impulsivity is one of the main factors that can lead to suicidal behavior, so it is vital to remain calm and help them sit with uncomfortable emotions. You can help them create a safety plan of who can stay with them, what positive outlets to integrate, and emergency resources to call. Out of the strategies listed, the most important is to know your own limits. Having professional help intervene might be necessary if you are not aware of how to proceed. You might need to call 911 to come resolve the situation if you need more assistance.

Getting Help

Suicide can be a complex and challenging thing to navigate. If you or a loved one is contemplating suicide, there are several resources you can use. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-TALK (8255), or text HOME to 741741. You can also call dial 911 if needing immediate intervention. Mental health services, such as individual therapy or support groups are also available to promote emotional stability and process possible factors influencing suicidal thoughts or intent. Therapists at bareWell are also here to help if you are looking for a local provider to connect with. Reach out to us here.