Most of us are familiar with empathy as a concept, but not all of us may know how to utilize it or understand what it is at its core. Despite this, we know that embracing empathy and cultivating your ability to empathize with others is the key to healthy connection. For this edition of the blog, we are diving deep into empathy, and learning more about ‘the great connector’ that has the power to bring us all together.

What is Empathy?

Empathy is the ability to understand and experience other people’s feelings. Learning to identify with others' feelings allows for better communication, and helps validate the experience they're going through. Despite being an incredibly positive tool that we can utilize to improve our emotional intelligence, the origins of empathy came from our survival instinct. Early humans' “empathy’ was a social thermometer, allowing them to sense danger passively by interpreting others’ emotions

Empathy can be broken up into three main types: affective, somatic, and cognitive.

Affective empathy is the ability to react to other people’s emotions. Somatic is the ability to feel what others are feeling, and cognitive empathy is understanding others' emotional responses. When combined, these types make up the full scope of empathy, which extends beyond what most people imagine when they think of putting themselves in others' shoes.

Though empathy has roots in our upbringing, there is reason to believe that our brains are hardwired for this type of connectivity with other people. Enter mirror neurons: a phenomenon that occurs in the brain that overlaps and reacts to others' actions. 

Imagine you see your friend pick up a cup, there’s a chance that the part of your brain that would be active while doing the same may fire off a signal. This reaction is responsible for several similar phenomena where we subconsciously mimic or align mentally with others in our environment. In this case, our brains are seeking a chance to align with others and, when applied to our overlapping emotional states, can lead to deep and authentic shows of empathy.

Why is Empathy Important?

How many of the world's problems could be solved by compromise or simply an abundance of compassion for others' circumstances or feelings? Learning to empathize with other’s positions is a great way to diffuse conflict, and leads to better outcomes for everyone involved.

Empathy plays a monumental role in conflict resolution. In a blog post a while back on better communication, we emphasized the importance of understanding and validating others' viewpoints while asserting your own. Though we all have a responsibility to be candid, it’s just as important that we take the time to hear others out, and put effort into empathizing with them as a goodwill attempt to reach a resolution.

Aside from this, empathy is a way to express care and respect for others. Many of our burdens are made worse when others don’t see our perspective, we feel judged, or we feel alone in our struggles. When you care for others using empathy you can help them feel less alone, and help them make peace with their emotions. 

Empathy is also a great tool to boost performance at work, school, or in your social life. Empathetic people often maintain stronger more long-lasting and fulfilling relationships, and are more successful at dealing with negotiations and challenges they face climbing the corporate ladder. Empathy is also essential for well-being, as it can help us normalize our emotions, avoid misunderstandings that weigh on our minds, and give us practice of accepting ourselves.

Studies show that people are less empathetic than ever; in a study that compares levels of empathy in young adults between the 1970’s and now there has been a nearly 50% decrease in empathetic reasoning, actions, and self-identification, as well as a 30% decline in perspective taking behaviors. There was also a marked rise in self-preservation and self-concerned mentality and reasoning during a similar period. 

The decline in empathy is believed to have origins in higher personal technology use among young people, higher emphasis on material status, high stress, smaller families becoming common, and political and socioeconomic upsets. This has shifted the public consciousness from “we” to “I” and this lack of empathy could be cause for concern going forward, which is why it's important now more than ever that we cultivate the skill and impart it to those around us.

Cultivating Empathy 

Empathy is something we are born with, and may even have a genetic component, but truthfully practicing empathy is a skill that must be practiced regularly to remain intact. We are all capable of empathy for others, but if you are struggling with using it for conflict resolution, or to help a friend here are a few tips to buff up on your empathy skills:

• Practice Active Listening: Being present, calm, and willing to hear someone else is the first step to practicing empathy. You can’t properly sympathize or fully understand their position unless you understand it.

• Engage in Curiosity: It’s not a secret that everyone likes to think or talk about themselves, however, it’s a polite and empathetic gesture to learn to give others the spotlight once and a while. Ask questions, ask for people's opinions, and ask how others feel, you may learn something new or give yourself a new frontier to explore.  If nothing else, it will help you better understand your friends and loved ones.

• Focus on Similarities: Even your worst enemy likely could agree with you on one or two things. It’s important when learning to empathize to not demonize or dehumanize others. You can use the good you find in them to equalize and ground your feelings. 

• Practice Compassion: Stress can make it hard to empathize or even be nice in the moment. This is why it’s important to remember that the person you are speaking to is experiencing their own emotions that can be turbulent or intense. Coming at the situation from a perspective of care and desire to help can make a big difference.

• Examine Your Biases: We all have a subset of beliefs or feelings that we cultivate and gather through our lives that can feel central to who we are. This is why it's especially important to look closely at those biases and make sure that they don’t negatively affect our viewpoint or get in the way of acknowledging others.

• Get Involved: Empathy extends beyond your personal circumstances. It’s important to have empathy for the human condition, and those who have less than you. Getting involved in charitable or philanthropic causes can help you cultivate empathy and introduce you to many perspectives that will help you grow. Plus, you’ll feel great offering your time to a cause you believe in.

Empathy is a part of human nature, and it is a beautiful force that brings us together and allows us to connect deeply. Life is far better when we can shoulder life burdens together, and view our neighbor as part of our interconnected ecosystem, instead of feeling alone on the path of life. For us as people, and parents raising the next generation now is the time to cultivate empathy and impart tolerance, compassion, and kindness, because we need it more than ever.