How To Get The Most Out of Therapy

Now that 2024 is underway, many of us are looking for ways to improve ourselves and meet our goals. This may require optimization, or trying to get the maximum result from our efforts. This conversation comes up frequently when speaking about working out or improving one's diet, but what other areas can optimization benefit you? The answer: in your therapy sessions.

Many of us can relate to the feeling of sitting down on the couch in a therapy office or logging into a Zoom call and not making the breakthroughs we thought we would. Most people only see their therapist a handful of times a month for an hour at a time. With the limitations of time, it is important to use every tool at your disposal to make the most of every session. For those of you who may be looking for some helpful tips to jumpstart your therapy goals and get more out of your sessions, this article is a must-read. 

So where can we start optimizing? The easiest way is to do our homework pre-session. Approaching your session with intention can make a huge difference. Setting your intention has been proven to be a powerful tool in self-actualization and motivation. It’s also a great way to get yourself grounded in the present. Showing up on time prepared with areas of focus can give you that extra edge when tackling difficult emotions.

In the spirit of making space for the presence of mind, we also recommend you take care of housekeeping before the session even begins. This can involve anything from discussing topics not relating to your session to scheduling another appointment or payment. Try taking care of these things beforehand so you have a clean slate with less distraction and can focus on yourself.

Another great preparation you can make is taking notes on things you want to discuss during your session. This gives your therapist a starting point and a roadmap so you can both focus on the things that are important to you. While on the subject of taking notes, we also recommend bringing a notebook or some paper to write down key ideas and information. This means you’re more likely to retain and reflect on the things you discussed. The more effort you put into internalizing these dialogues the more likely they are to stick, which is the cornerstone of meaningful change. 

Therapy is a great tool to overcome negative patterns and get into a better state of mind, but only if you know what you want to work on. Once you realize what you want out of therapy, you and your therapist can work towards reaching it. We recommend structured check-ins. When you hit roadblocks in your work, returning to your therapist should help you overcome them.

Speaking of therapists, it’s okay to be picky when choosing who you want to work with. Not every therapist and patient will click, which is why it’s important to shop around and get to know your therapist before you commit to seeing them long-term. Understanding their approach, demeanor, the services they offer, as well as their price point are all things to consider when you choose. 

Once you have chosen, however, the work doesn’t stop there. Much like any other relationship, you must maintain it, which means sometimes you have to reevaluate how you work with each other. If your therapist is working or communicating with you in a way that doesn't resonate it’s so important to speak up. They won't know if you don’t tell them. This act of communicating your needs can also be a helpful way to practice in a setting with relatively low stakes.

Also, it’s important to think about your relationship with your therapist appropriately. It can be confusing especially when you’re frequently sharing your innermost thoughts, but make no mistake: they are not your friend. Your therapist is supposed to be more of a mirror or a guide. This can be difficult to accept, but in the long run, keeping a degree of separation can lead to better, more effective therapy. Moreover, your therapist is not a miracle worker; they cannot solve your problems or tell you what to do. The best relationship with a therapist is one where they can be a confidante and collaborator, but always with healthy boundaries that allow them to support you in the ways you need without overstepping.

The mentality of presence and honesty can extend outside of the session. Sessions can be heavy and emotionally draining and may require time to recover from. This is why we believe treating your therapy day as an opportunity for self-care can be helpful. Don’t overschedule yourself on days when you have a meeting with your therapist; give yourself ample time before and after to recover and think about what you worked on. Also, homework from a therapy session is assigned to give a deeper perspective into what you have been working on. Giving it the same time and attention as an actual session can give you the chance to double up on the benefits.  

Lastly, and most importantly of all, don't rush! All change takes time, and the evolution of self even more so. Be patient, work diligently towards your goals, and practice mindfulness- over time the changes will come. No one is beyond improving themselves in the way they want, especially when they pair off with a great psychological professional who can help them get there. Though none of these tips may be the miracle solution to fixing therapy woes, trying out one or a combination may leave you feeling more involved and satisfied with the time you do spend working on yourself.