How Grief Looks Different to Us Now
Nearly everyone has experienced or will experience some variation of grief in their lifetime. Most people define grief as the deep sorrow we feel in response to loss; often, the loss is the death of a loved one. Grief can come in all shapes and sizes, and it may present differently in one person than it does in another.
Now that we’re over a year into the COVID-19 pandemic, grief looks more different than ever. Not only are we grieving the loss of lives, but we’re also grieving the loss of jobs, safety, and hope about the future. The longer the pandemic has gone on, the more our grief transformed — to where it looks almost entirely different than it did before it started.
We’re Grieving Unprecedented Deaths
The COVID-19 pandemic has brought on deaths that we could never have anticipated. While we know everyone has to die at some point, COVID-19 has drastically shorted too many lives. Nearly everyone knows someone who either had COVID or possibly died from it, and the implications are hard to cope with.
We still don’t know everything about the virus, which makes grappling with the deaths it causes even more difficult. You may be grieving the loss of a parent, sibling, or friend, but a year ago, you couldn’t have anticipated this happening. Because of this, COVID-related deaths feel much more painful to those whom they impact.
We’re Grieving More Than Death
When we think of grief, we typically associate it with death. However, the pandemic has brought on a whole new type of grief outside of death. You may have lost your job or know someone who lost theirs. Social distancing has put a damper on our social lives, and it’s hard to say when our routines will feel “normal” again. COVID-19 has caused more than death; it has brought about the end of life as we so comfortably knew it.
Grief over losing a job, social life, or feeling of safety is complex. Not only are you grieving the loss, but you’re also worried about what your next move is. When and how will you find another job? How will you pay the bills in the coming months? Financial insecurity is a very real symptom of COVID-related grief that many people continue to struggle with.
Anticipatory Grief
Along with grieving death and financial security, you may also be experiencing anticipatory grief. Because we’re still in the pandemic, and because people are still dying of COVID every day, we’ve fallen into a cycle of constant grief. We know many people will continue to suffer because of COVID, and it gives us this lurking feeling that more and more loss is just around the corner.
We also feel anticipatory grief because our sense of normalcy is twisted. Many of us have lost jobs or are working from home, feel isolated, and don’t know when things will get better. Humans are naturally social creatures, so isolation has taken a toll on our mental health and the way we process grief.
Coping with COVID-Related Grief
Though we’re still trying to get through the pandemic, our lives don’t have to revolve around grief. Whether you’re grieving a loved one, losing a job, or your social life, there are resources to help make your load a little lighter.
The best thing you can do is seek connection. While you may not be able to see people in person, you can still connect virtually. Try reconnecting with friends, family, or possibly find a support group.
Also, remember that therapy is readily available. Many practices have switched to online sessions, but the same level of care is still available — and, if anything, it’s more accessible than ever. COVID-19 has permanently transformed our perception of grief; all we can do is learn from it, adapt, and find new ways to cope as we move forward.