What is self-care? 

We hear this phrase thrown around so often but, what does it really mean and why is it so important? First,  let’s challenge the notion of self-care being “selfish”. Far too often we tell ourselves that there just isn’t time or there’s more important things to do. Responsibilities of work, family, appointments, chores...more often than not, self-care drops to the backburner. Trust me, I’ve been there. 

Productivity tends to be a driving  force. We live in a society that runs, breathes, and exudes productivity. Work now, play later. No pain, no gain. Go, Go, Go. Do, Do, Do... Our society is brimming with technology platforms designed to increase productivity, encouraging us to multitask, and essentially “do” more... But, at what cost?

There’s no denying working hard has many benefits and incentives. Vying for that promotion at work, performing well in school, earning that MVP award...I, too, value a strong work ethic and determination. However, an over-emphasis on productivity, can often lead to an unhealthy mindset and a variety of mental health challenges, feelings of isolation, workplace burnout, impaired daily functioning, and reduced quality of life. No doubt, “productivity” will also suffer, but that’s beside the point. The bigger picture is that by becoming so busy, so focused on doing, we risk losing ourselves in the process. We become distanced from our sense of self and our connection to the world around us. We lose sight of the things in life that truly matter, the ability to connect to the present moment, meaningful relationships, and all that may bring us a sense of purpose and fulfillment in life. We begin to connect our value with our output. This is a dangerous perspective. What happens when your level of productivity changes? When you have to take a sick day? When you can’t meet that deadline? 

So, how do we create time for ourselves when our lives are already overflowing with important responsibilities and life stressors? This is where re-defining and re-prioritizing self-care may be helpful. According to the NIMH, self-care means “taking the time to do things that help you live well and improve both your physical health and mental health.” (NIMH, 2021). For me, self-care does not mean thinking only about yourself. It means taking care of yourself, investing in yourself, and nourishing all of that which is important to you and allows you to be and feel your best self. Self-care and caring for others are not mutually exclusive. How can we create time for ourselves and our loved ones? How can we make time for ourselves and meet work demands? How can we begin to integrate self-care in realistic, consistent, meaningful ways that help accommodate the increasing demands and stressors that compile upon our daily lives and impact our mental health and overall well-being?

Self-care is variable and multifaceted, unique to each and every one of us. Identifying what self-care means for you may require some time spent looking inward and really getting to know yourself. What do you find meaningful in life? What helps energize you? What helps you relax? What stimulates you...physically, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually? 

Incorporating self-care requires an ongoing intentional effort that will undoubtedly shift depending on life circumstances and stressors. Finding a balance requires flexibility and adaptability. For me, this is an ongoing process and challenge that requires mindful reflection and commitment. There may be times when that scale is off-centered and that’s okay. Simply bringing awareness to the matter can help identify actions that support shifting the weight on that scale toward the other direction.

As a collective society, I believe we would benefit from being more proactive rather than reactive when it comes to taking care of ourselves and our mental health needs. Afterall, we are human beings, not machines. We are individuals facing both unique challenges and shared struggles in this post-pandemic world. 

Taking care of ourselves is far from selfish; it is a fundamental human need. How can we work together to allow the notion of self-care to become more widely accepted and supported? Take a moment to imagine your full potential when you are feeling and functioning at your very best. Take a moment to acknowledge your value as a human. Take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Because you are worth it.

Resources

NIMH. (April, 2021). Caring for your mental health. National Institute of Mental Health.