School is back in full-swing, which means that children and adolescents across the nation are getting used to new social interactions and settings. Your children are likely to meet many different types of people in school, and social media makes it easier than ever to connect with peers. With this phenomenon in mind, it’s essential to be mindful of how we treat others and the lessons we impart to our children as they navigate these new dynamics.

With so much polarization about topics such as racial equality, gender politics, and sexuality in the news and online, it has become increasingly important to be proactive in educating yourself and those close to you about how to be a good ally. Today, we want to focus on one group in particular: the LGBTQ+ community. Here at bareWell, we unwaveringly support this community and want to empower others to uplift them, as well as give tips and information to encourage our readers to do the same.

This topic is especially relevant as this is one of the largest growing marginalized groups in America, particularly in the youth of our country. According to recent information compiled by Gallup, the percentage of the population who identifies as LGBTQ+ is 7.1%, which is up nearly  2% since the last survey in 2020. The same study shows that one in five Gen Z adults identify as LGBTQ+. Another reason we are focusing on this group is because LGBTQ+ individuals are statistically more than twice as likely to struggle with mental health conditions such as depression, suicidal ideation, substance abuse, and anxiety. While these conditions could affect anyone, the LGBTQ+ community faces a specific brand of these challenges, in addition to some that straight and cisgender people may never experience, which serves to stack the deck against them when it comes to mental health.

One example of a mental struggle that transgender and non-binary people deal with is gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria happens when your inner persona, preferred gender, or true self does not match with your external appearance. More specifically, it’s when you don’t feel internally aligned with the traits that society has deemed acceptable to someone of your sex. Many transgender individuals feel a tremendous pressure to “pass”, or appear in line with their expressed gender based on the standards or the gender binary. Non-binary people may feel pressure to blend both genders perfectly, be both or neither, or choose one or the other to fit in. These pressures often come from an external place, and the reality is that no one needs to meet any standards of gender performance to be who they are. Each individual has their path to take with finding the correct balance and expression to fit them, but it's important to reassure those who are struggling to feel comfortable in their skin that they are perfectly valid just as they are.

In the same way that body neutrality has helped many individuals who suffer from eating disorders or body dysmorphia, taking a more neutral stance with gender expression could be helpful. As an ally, it is essential not to be judgemental or force those you love who are LGBTQ+ to fit into a box or preconceived notion of what you feel they should be. The sooner these stereotypes and standards fall away, the sooner everyone can be themselves without limitation. For those who are questioning or struggling with feelings of dysphoria, we believe it could be positive to find a community of others like you or a supportive network of friends who will allow you to experiment and encourage you to be your most authentic self.

Speaking of outside pressures, LGBTQ+ individuals are likely to suffer from what is known as minority stress. This can affect all marginalized groups but with queer people, minority stress is the additional worry that arises because of their sexuality or gender expression. Minority stress can contribute heavily to anxiety and feelings of isolation which can feed into depression. For example, a gay or lesbian person may already feel stressed about visiting their family over the holidays. On top of this, they may also experience additional stress because they are not out to their family and may have to lie about their partner or exclude them. They might also be stressed about uncomfortable interactions, probing questions, or negative comments about other LGBTQ+ individuals.

In situations like this, these additional stresses can add up quickly, and feel like a devastating blow to their identity and ego. However, as an ally, you can help ease some of those stresses by making your home a safe space for your queer loved ones. You can start this process by discouraging speaking poorly about LGBTQ+ people and making sure they have space to bring a partner or friend who might make them feel more comfortable. It’s important to have an open and accepting dialogue between yourself and your queer loved one - even if they are not out yet. Don’t force conversations that might be uncomfortable or taboo, instead allow them to take the lead and offer a non-judgmental ear.

Having a positive and uplifting community has numerous benefits for everyone, especially LGBTQ+ individuals. A sense of solidarity and support when facing adversity can give these individuals courage to face their challenges head on, and give them a safe and comfortable place to recover from negative stigma. In terms of mental health, having a positive sense of community and uplifting friendships are tied to lower rates of depression, and anxiety. For a group of people who are more likely to have issues with family and romantic relationships, these bonds with friends and allies are even more important to building a positive sense of self.

Community is important to everyone; we all have wishes to find our tribe and feel as though we fit into something larger than ourselves. Cisgender and straight people struggle with this, however, it's important to keep in mind that we are privileged. There are many pressures and struggles that we will never have to experience because of our sexuality, and as much as we should be grateful, we should also make an effort to pave the way for those who are not as lucky as us. Keep this in mind as you and your kids return to school, prepare for the holidays, and approach work and play.  Consider that you can be a positive force in the LGBTQ+ community by just being kind, accepting, and supporting them in being their most authentic selves.