Recently, I’ve been thinking about trends. In recent years, they’ve become such a social force that they have the power to slingshot individuals into fame or change the trajectory of businesses. However, when you as an individual, step away from the constant push and pull that trends have on your interests, sense of identity, and habits, a more interesting pattern comes to light. The idea of virality and the sharing of information is more prominent in our lives than ever before. We may feel that we are losing sight of our organic interests as we become more addicted to the adrenaline and persuasive power of trends. It makes me wonder: what does this perception shift do to our sense of self and our values? Will this constant pressure to change and absorb new stimuli damage our personal vision?

Most of us can admit to feeling the constant need to chase happiness instead of cultivating it for ourselves. This is why it’s important to take a step back, detach from our external world, and find ways to determine what we value, our intentions, and what truly brings us joy outside of novelty. By maintaining a strong sense of self-identity independent of trends, we find grounding when the winds of change threaten to separate us from our peace. So, for this article of our blog, we’ll discuss finding your identity and vision. We’ll focus on learning to separate influence from internalized personality and provide actionable tips on how to hone in on your personal vision. 

Understanding External vs Internal Motivations

How do you know if something comes from an internal or external source? Psychologists have debated this for a long time as they try to find the roots of our behaviors. The truth is, no concept is fully black and white. For example, the nature versus nurture debate: are humans mostly defined by what they are intrinsically or what experiences they have? Those on the side of nature believe that our personalities and predispositions for certain skills are in our biology. Those on the side of nurture believe that our environment is the biggest factor in determining our aptitude and personality. Psychologists and philosophers have both contributed to the idea that we are born with certain traits, or that we learn them from our environment. There are people on both sides of the fence but most have agreed that what we are is a mixture of our biological starting point and the experiences we have throughout our lives that shape us into the people we are.

Another example to give shape to external versus internal ideals is the locus of control. This is a theory that explains an individual's perception of whether their life is governed by an internal or external source. It also may govern where you feel most validated. An individual with an internal locus is likely to believe that whatever they want and value can be projected onto the world. These people often have a strong sense of self and confidence and feel rewarded by seeing their self-expression represented in the outside world. On the other hand, those with an external locus are likely to believe that their lives are governed by fate or other otherworldly forces. They may lack self-esteem and personal identity and feel the need to seek validation from outside sources. The key difference between the two is internal locus feels the need to act on the world, whereas external locus feels the world is acting on them. Interestingly enough, there are biological factors that can contribute to this perception as well. Men are often more internal than women, and we all become more internal as we age, or become more successful. 

Finding Your Vision

We understand now that we are a combination of our experiences and our biology, and so our perception of the world should match this. Harnessing the internal develops self-agency and a strong basis of self-knowledge. The external helps us understand detachment when necessary and keeps us grounded in realistic pursuits. Establishing and honing feelings of control over your life can be challenging, and often requires a lot of work to develop. A good place to start is to clarify your values and preferences. By establishing what you think is most important and central to your goals you can use them as beacons that will lead you to fulfillment. There are a few ways to get clear on your values. However, prepare yourself for deep work that will likely challenge your self-perception. Owning your identity isn’t always all roses; sometimes, there are thorns in us that we have to accept just the same. It’s important to keep an open mind, compassion for yourself, and patience.

 A good first step is to ask yourself simple questions:

• What makes me happy? 

• What makes me feel proud? 

• What do I feel are the most valuable traits a friend can have? 

Once you have these answers you can pull up a values chart and look through the list for traits that you feel are important, or that you embody. It’s fine to start with as many as are applicable and begin to narrow them down as you explore. In the end, you should have 3-5 core values that most represent what you want from yourself and others. This establishes a baseline for self-governance. these actions. You’ll identify more readily with these ideas, and you’ll see them mirrored from the outside back to you, creating harmony between your inner and outer worlds.

Using Your Vision To Navigate The World

Once you understand your values, you should seek to align yourself with situations and behaviors that demonstrate them. For example, people who value loyalty should be honest with their friends and stand by them when they’re struggling. This concept will help you feel like you’re interacting with the world authentically. Not only will you feel more in control of your life, but you will also feel more aligned with your higher purpose. The more you act on these traits, the more your external world will validate them, creating a feedback loop, and in doing so, you will create a harmonious resonance between your inner and outer world. But how does this apply to trends and their impact on us?

Well, as mentioned before, having a strong internal identity can fortify us against having our hands swayed by external forces. Advertising and trends move at a breakneck pace, and in order to prevent ourselves from getting swept up in them, we must be objectively critical of what value these things bring to our lives, and whether or not they align with our values. This concept, paired with mindfulness about manipulative tactics in marketing, can allow us to break out of our dependence on new stimuli to feel joy. While novelty has value to each person, the truth is no amount of new will feel as good as aligning with the things that truly matter to you. Not feeling the need to chase social acceptance, new belongings, and pursue relevance frees you up to focus on other aspects of your life that need work. Sparingly engaging in trends is also better for your mental health and can be a catalyst for personal growth. Focusing on self-satisfaction, connecting with others on a more meaningful level, and slowing down to be present in the moment and appreciate the things you have currently can help you feel a sense of peace you might otherwise be missing.

Cultivating Your Identity

As we mentioned before, cultivating your identity can be a difficult task that requires overcoming a number of mental barriers and making peace with yourself, for better or worse. That said, you may benefit from help from a professional therapist to refine your sense of self. It’s a perfectly common issue to feel that you don’t know who you are or what your purpose is. Luckily, there are plenty of licensed therapists, like those at bareWell, who can provide a helping hand. If you live in California and would like to learn more about what a counselor can do to help you cultivate your sense of identity, contact us and we will match you with a great therapist within our branching network. To conclude, mindfulness is exceedingly important in the modern day to protect your sense of self and avoid being swayed by trends. However, by improving your personal vision, and finding a balance between external and internal control it can become far easier to align with things that truly bring you joy.